War with the Nafs

You would love me to love this dunya...wouldn't you?

Desire it.
Miss it.
Cling to its memories.

At the core, in the magma...I'm sure there's burning fire.

and if I give into the lie...?

If I give into the lie....



My heart gets twisted in...

like a reluctant grin,

I've already seen the clown show,

So do I know where I'll go?

When the colors swirl together in that rush

Do they bring me back home?

Or do they drift me up into the breeze...

Instead of praying on my knees.

Today it's a 'give in' -

Tomorrow repentance.

How can I win?

How can I win?

Inside reminds - Be constant and upright!!! Be constant and upright!!!

Slay the dragon with remembrance

not with a mental fire fight!

Exchange the love that is temporary

for a love that is everlasting!

For if the plague takes over

the sick soul won't know it's over

And if I say The All Knower knows best

why am I doubting all the rest? (Yes!

So take your head out of the clouds of this world

and place your feet in paradise!)

If God wills me to accept this life of sacrifice,

and reject with sincerity the illusions you provide,

I can say I won you over before my demise.

For the Heart to Become Clear and Soft...

"Give life to your hearts by laughing rarely, and purify them with hunger, for they will thereby become clear and soft. " Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)

RAMADAN POEMS...Ramadan Mubarak...!


A New Light


You cannot bend back the sunflower

from the glowing light of the sun,

nor a moth headed straight to the flame,

you cannot seize its invisible reins,

nor the reed blown by the Eastern breeze,

whispering, bowing, to The Truth, The Mighty.

It was ordained and ordered as it was with me...

No - you cannot change my creed.

Belief was planted - so heed the seed.

For indeed - my heart does see. 

Protected by lids of flesh, divine layers, 
where it lies in peace - falsehood cannot breathe.

Truth lives, and is free...I'm keen to your deceit
But Rot cannot penetrate its certainty.

All praises to The Protector.

Allah. 

Alham-du-lillah!

For your guidance and for you I pray...

O simple minded human being made from clay - what you say

cannot make me sway,

Only! If Allah wills.






The Answer to 'Why?'



It's as if someone grabbed me by the shoulders

turned me around,

and said: "Look!"

To my surprise - I was off the straight path, into the weeds, and into the jungle - dark and unclean...

With no true guide, only using my sensory inclinations to decide - leaving me empty inside...

reaching out feeling nothing...swiping at risk and Satan's treasures,
only to have them disappear before sunrise - always melting before my eyes...
never full, never lasting - living on desire - jumping from low branches and then to high,

In that swivel, in that rotation, in that life transformation - a SNAP that was clean

I saw in that 180 turn a way in which I had not seen...


How to describe?

Sureness - peacefulness - the scavenger hunt was over.


Oh if you hadn't grabbed me by the shoulders,

nor nourished my heart?


Where would I be?


How to thank you for the clarity 

sirat al mustakim...!

the purest path on which to start.

Submission to You...For You my heart.






For the Heart

The four chambers of the heart ...nourish the flow and ebb between...

give and take and take and give.

Bending to the will of The Unseen

and yes, it's true - that they know

they don't control the ebb and flow.

The body they serve to feed...

 they cleanse and purify indeed!

The body does not fight the rush

of richness through the veins,

"STOP!"...it does not say to hush,

the pounding profound parade

Ourselves?

we trust

in it...

Divine!

What became before the brain or spine...?

Beating alone in an echoed womb...

be! - and there we were...

Be!

Yes...


How to...?


Be...goodfirmsoftlighttrueopenhumble...?

My heart never betrays -

on and on it beats my path...and yet it's me who chooses to stray!

And when I struggle to breathe in harms' way - my heart struggles harder to keep me alive...

(Support from where? Did you yourself decide to give ease to the flowing tides?

From where does its power arise? Contemplate...without compromise.)

It pumps on and on - in chambers - in song...with mercy that fills the space.

So when in doubt of your own heart...listen for the soundness of its make...

and know there in every breath or step or road that you choose to take,

Rely on it! For it has carried you through...no matter what there was at stake,

Oh believer,  take a deep look at your heart -

What will you do - for its sake?



Mecca

In the center.
In the heart.
There was a drum.
That started beating.
Rippling dust.
Of this world.
Through the -
crystallized atmosphere.
Lean in closer.
Ear tilted to hear.
It is here.
Where we turn.
Round together.
Facing One.
And the same.
The One with many Names.
Find us.
    Here.
In our Heart.
Of Mecca,                        (Come to yearn)
Far or Near.                     (Come to learn)
My Heart Sees.
The Truth.                       
You and Him.                     (Mecca awaits!)
It is clear.                           (It's your turn.)

There's No Shape for the Change in me...

Some poems from China (before becoming Muslim) written during fall '06...nothing is edited (save for grammatical errors). More poems might be up in the future from China, but here are three for now. Enjoy:

The Selfish Self
(Inspired by: a child in the subway with no arms)


My pocket only goes so deep,
So then I guess...
So does my heart.

I'm sorry I'm an American with a couple of pounds to spare, but got no change for me to share....
Only got green eyes and yellow hair pink grey sneakers that I wear!

But I swear...


I do care.


I'll give you a smile and a wave, as if that could somehow save:

The child moaning, arms burnt off,
a stub, a nub, an echoed cough
that travels through the holes in my head,
and I think this time tomorrow - this kid could be dead


Pity wasn't prepared and sympathy was sleeping.
Even the guilt that I felt - I was selfishly keeping.

Diverting my eyes,
Erasing my smile,



Foolish, but 'smart' to walk away,

and anyway -

by tomorrow I knew I'd forget today...




ONE EYED DEVIL
(Inspired by: Chinese villagers who lived in ancient caves...lived very modestly...yet still had flat-screen tvs)




One eyed devil everywhere.
Never winks. Always stares.

Even in the caves,
you Cyclops.
you Monster.
Taking the precious with your succulent sponsors,

Go AWAY.

Leave them ALONE.

They don't know the dangers you possess between the buzzing of your Technicolor shows!

Too much of you and we forget the earth

If we see the view through your flat eye we get -

Only half
of what it's worth.






Short Shorts
(Inspired by: Wearing short shorts and feeling embarrassment, questioning my values)


Culture gone lazy lemon sour,

Memories...!
Sweet with the taste of American apple pie,
Blue birds in the sky...

It's not too late.

(And) as the world laughs,

I look down at my short shorts and wonder -
if it's time 
we change.

The First Square (House)

Sitting in a roofed square
looking at an electrical square
thinking and thinking -
what had brought me there?

Sitting in a courtyard square
passing people with their fingers tapping on squares
informing and chatting -
what kinds of messages to share?

In the library there are books,
bound page by page, square by square
absorbing and admiring -
how many souls have been touched with hope or despair?

In the art gallery there's Black Square
flat and lifeless, yet powerful and strange
how could something so simple -
make one feel so changed?

We've made buildings, houses,
pictures, books, doors, tables, chairs
usually the shape we've chosen for these,
has been 'the square'

What was here before us?
ovals, diamonds, rhombuses, and hexagons,
the shapes of the world -
part of the largest creature to the smallest atom

Yet, there's only one shape -
not found naturally within...
the square is left -
shall we call it an extra gift?

Some say: Humankind's 'invention'
but this is not so
For God taught men
what he did not know

And at this thought - the First Square comes to mind
sharp edges balancing out the surrounding soft light
embodying the stress and glory
we find in our days and nights,

The Square that was created, then forgotten,
but found again by those who were rightly guided,
In which for now all humankind circles round,
but soon around which all souls will be united

Starting with Adam and Eve...then orphaned in the desert
To Abraham who smashed the idols and renewed our given treasure
Finally Muhammad who reminded all of what had certainly been degraded
The gift that kept us safe in prayer and led our hands to civilization...


For Adam and Eve it was
a temporary shelter.
a house of worship.
a sacred place of thanks...

a Square foundation that would solidify faith and fate
as they put in stone - plank by plank



So while sitting in your box
typing on your 4-sided laptop,
in your uncomfortable little cubicle,
Why don't you stop-




remember!




The Kabbah...                                                                            (ah)
Just A Black Square for some                                     (ignorant and foolish we are)
But as revealed to Adam and Eve                       (devoting our time to lesser squares...)

God's Home...                                                                             (so)

Our Home...                                                                            (please)

                                                                                            (come home)

since day one.








Quran 3:96-97: Indeed the first house that was appointed as a place of worship for mankind, is the one at Mecca (the Holy Ka'aba), blessed and a guidance to the whole world. Wherein are plain memorials (of Allah's guidance); the place where Abraham stood up to pray; and whosoever entereth it - is safe. And pilgrimage to the House is a duty unto Allah for mankind, for him who can find a way thither. As for him who disbelieveth, (let him know that) lo! Allah is Independent of (all) creatures.

Little tiny me and you in this world. Poems of the night.

Climb up here with me and stay

where the view is certain and clear

But you'd rather slump down beneath the trees,

in the familiar atmosphere


The creatures in the forest all shout

she's strange she's strange she's strange!

Agreeing with a wistful smile,

you chitter and chatter away



I sit in silence up above,

On a simple rock unknown,

I open my mouth to share it all,

but sense patience in the moonlights' glow


I won't walk the dirty path again

if that is what you want

I've reached the point of no return

so accept me as I'm not


I invite you up to share my space

have it all - there's plenty - and more

as you shiver under the shady leaves,

you say it's not what you're looking for



You try to tug me down

but my hands are raised up high

a SCREAM: You were better before you let your

mind float deep into the sky!


I try throwing a loving line down

to your little spot in the dark,

but no tug comes back to me,

from my actions - for you - no spark,


I lift my head back up and breathe the cleanliness,

the pureness of the life,

no second guesses - no wondering why

I was born or when I will die,




Get down! you SHOUT get down right now!

But I choose instead to refuse,



If you accepted the view - believe me

you too - would never dare to move.